Maximum Ride Parody- Meet Maxine
by eveltarose
Summary: This is a Maximum Ride parody. There's not much to say about it, it's really random. Hope you enjoy! Don't forget to review!
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1**

I wake up to my alarm clock blaring. I automatically hit the snooze button. Waking up again twenty minutes late, I stroll out of bed and throw myself into the shower. I let the warm water run over me as I go back to sleep. After almost drowning, I wake up again and get out of the shower. _Oh well, i'll use soap tomorrow. _I throw on the nearest clothes; a pair of short-shorts and a bad Christmas sweater. Even though it's April, I continue on with my morning routine.

I go to get my hairbrush but I see that it's an inch out of my reach. _Oh well, i'll just throw on a hat. _I cover up my messy wad of brown hair with my sombrero. Then to complete my look, I slip into my beat up lacy Toms. I'm ready for school! Arriving forty minutes late, I sneak into 2nd period hopefully undetected. I hear everybody groan and roll their eyes as I step into the room. I must be super popular! Before taking my seat at the back of the room, I bat my eyes at the new kid Frank. He gives me a look and I go sit down. I think he likes me. For the remainder of the class I pass love notes to Frank. At lunch I go and sit next to Frank and his friend Ziggy. Trying to be sexy, I slowly stuff my entire meatloaf into my mouth. Afterwards I slurp the grease off of my fingers. Ziggy laughs and Franks gives a disgusted look. Playing hard to get I see.

After lunch I go up to Frank. "Hey there cutie," I say. Frank looks around then notices me. "Oh, it's _you,_" he says back. "So can I have your number?" I say. Frank gives me another one of his looks, and keeps walking. I follow after him. _I'll just casually slip him mine, but make it obvious that I don't want him to have it, like they do in the movies. _I write down my number on a piece of paper and fold it into a paper airplane. "Hey Frank, catch!" I yell at Frank. I then throw him the paper airplane with my number on it and run away screaming "FRANK HAS MY NUMBER!" Then I leave school four hours early to wait for Frank's text.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

I sit for hours waiting for Frank's text. Finally I decided to go empty my pee bottle taped to my leg. When I get back I still have no text from Frank. I give up but due to my sleeping dissorder I don't sleep, so I just play Angry Birds all night. _Take that evil pigs! _When morning rolls around, I go through my routine and go to school. When I get to school the first thing I do is walk up to Frank. "So did you get my number?" I ask him. He turns around "Huh? Oh, hi Maxine, yeah I got your number," he says. This makes something inside of me snap. "THEN WHY DIDN'T YOU TEXT ME!" Out of rage I throw a quick roundhouse kick to his face. Then I snap out my wings, push up off the ground and fly home.

_Woah. _I think. _How long have I had wings? _On my way home I see a little girl walking down the sidewalk. She's carring a bear dressed up like an angel. I. Want. That. BEAR! I fly toward her and pin her to the ground. I grab the bear from her. "Okay, kid, whatever this bear's name is, is now Captain Snuggles," I tell her. "Umm, accually it's Celeste," she quivers in a small voice. "WELL NOW IT'S CAPTAIN _SNUGGLES!_" I grab Captain Snuggles and continue home. I get home and decide to text Frank:

Heyy Frankiepoo, wats up? we should totes go out dont u agree? ;)

Frank replies:

Who the heck is this, and how did you get my number?!

I evilly grin and send back:

Its yo gf Maxine i got yo # from Ziggy lo0l

I get no reply from Frank. _Ugh! This makes we just wanna punch an eight year old blond kid._ I decide to fly to the elemantary school. I barge into one of the classrooms. "Okay, raise your hand if your eight," I command. I get several options. "Now keep your hand up if your a boy." Several hands go down. "Now keep your hand up if you have blond hair." Several more hand go down. I point at one kid. "You, what's your name?" I ask him. "J-Jazzy," He says shakily. "Front and center, Jazzy," I say. Jazzy comes and stands infront of me. I pull back my fist and punch him in the face as hard as I can then I crash out the window to go home. _Like a boss, Maxine, like a boss._


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

"MAXINE!" My mom yells. "Yeah?" I say back. "I have gotten several reports about you disterbing the peace," mom says. "What is going on with you lately?" I roll my eyes at her. "Gosh mom, I'm not a little kid anymore! I turned fourteen and a half yesterday!" I yell at her. "What's going on?" Dad asks as he comes into the doorway. "Nothing, Jed, it's just that Maxine is getting a little out of-" Mom gets cut off as my younger siblings appear in the doorway. "Mom, tell Bella to stop yelling at me," my little brother Jeri says. "You tell Jeri to stop poking me," my little sister Bella tells mom. Mom rubs her temples. "Jeri, leave your sister alone, Bella leave your brother alone. Now go," mom says irritated.

I start to leave when mom stops me. "You stay," she says. I groan and turn around. "Okay, grounded for two weeks, blah, blah, blah," I say. I toss them my phone and plop on my bed. "Not this time young lady," my mom says. I raise my eyebrows. Then two cops appear in the doorway. _Oh crap... _The cops try to grab me but I use my new found skills to kick them in the face. I snap out my wings and crash through my window. I fly away and look back at the astonished faces. Haha. Then _smack!_


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 3**

I slide down the tree that I just smacked into. I slide right into the policeman's arms. "Crap," I say outload. Immediatly I am cuffed and shoved into a car. We drive for a long time. "Umm, cop," I say. "What?" He replies irritated. "I think I'm, I'm, I'm-" The cop interupts me. "Your what?" He asks, his voice like ice. "I think I'm-" This time I'm cut off by myself puking all over the bakseat of the cop car. "Car sick," I mumble. "Uh oh," the cop says sniffing the air. "When I smell puke it makes me wanna-" The cop then pukes all over himself. We swerve off the road and into a ditch. The cop gets out of the car and continues puking in the grass. "A little help here?" I gag, still stuck in the puke-smelling car.

The cop comes over an gets me out of the car. We walk ten miles to the police station where we get cleaned up. The cop takes off my cuffs. "Hey thanks," I say rolling my wrists around. He then shoves me into a jail cell. "Hey, wait a second," I trail off. "Miss Batchelder you are entitledd to one phone call," the officer states. "That's Miss _Ride_ to you," I say. "Yeah, whatever," he mumbles handing me a phone. "One phone call," he repeats. _Hmm, one phone call,_ I think. _I know! _"Prank call!" I yell. I dial a random number. "Hello miss? Is your refriderater running?" The lady on the other end says, "Why, yes it is." I smile. "Then you better go catch it!" I yell. I burst out laughing and hang up. The cop then puts me back in my cell. Darnit.


	5. Chapter 5

**Hey everybody. Sorry I haven't updated in forever. I hope you're still with me for those who have been reading. I will start updating daily now, so no worries. Please review, your opinion means a lot, and enjoy! **

****I sat down on the metal bench. I saw my reflection in it. Ew, is _that _what iv'e looked like all day? I use my fingers to comb my hair. The door to my cell opens. "Yay! Can I go home?" I say to the cop. "No, i'm just bringing you a little friend," he says. Yay! A friend! I black girl with brown frizzy hair comes in. She has on the same orange jumpsuit as me. "OMG, we're twinkies!" I tell her. She gives me a funny look. "I'm Maxine, and we're going to be besties!" I say, hugging her.

She pushes me away. "Umm, my name is Mattalie Natasha Angelica Ricardo III. But people just call me Fudge." YAY! I love this girl Fudge. I sit back on the bench. "So, do you like Justin Bieber?" I ask, trying to break the ice. "Ew, no, he's gross," she replies. What. "What." I say. She gives me another concerned look. I let out a deep breath. "It's okay," I say fanning air onto me. "Not _everybody _has to like Justin Bieber, I guess." I let out another breath. "I mean, at least you like One Direction," I say. "Actually, I don't like them either," Fudge says. After that, all heck broke loose.


	6. Chapter 6

I am no longer in jail. I am in juvy.

Turns out beating up a serial killer was just enough to get me sent to the big guns. I like to see it as me being to mainstreem for jail. I skipped with a girl down the long grey hallway. I wish it were blue. I like blue. Even though I'm color blind, blue just seems right to me.

"Quit skipping," the girl says annoyed.

"Don't make me snap out my wi-"

"Yeah, whatever," the girl cuts me off.

_Oh no she didn't!_

I quickly made a grab for the girl's keys. I took off running, but the keys were attatched to the girl's pants, so I was dragging her on the ground.

"Guess your coming with me," I say.

I unlock the door and fly out. I hear screaming from behind me. Oh yeah.

"Put me down or el-"

"Yeah, whatever," I cut her off and keep flying witha big grin on my face.


	7. Chapter 7

**Dear triplechocolatte. I don't have anything against Maximum Ride (its my favorite book) I just wanted to write something funny and I know Maximum Ride better than any other book so I decided it would make a funny parody. Hope you liked it anyway :)**

Yeah, that lady person isn't with me anymore. Don't ask. MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Aaaaaanywho, I haven't really thought about what to do now. I can't go home, that's just dumb. My mom will_ kill _me if I track mud in the house. Cancun? Maybe. Or maybe New York. Maybe. Then out of nowhere something smacked me in the face. I opened my eyes and cuffed my face. "Ouch!" I said out loud. Stupid birds are always running into me. Maybe I should stop trying to join their V flying thing. It makes them mad.

But the thing I crashed into wasn't a bird. Sorta. It was, get this girl, Frank! Me and Frank are wing-freak buddies! "Come here often?" I said placing my posture as if I were leaning on a bar. I had to keep flying though. I was the first avian hybrid so unlike all the others I am only 1% avian and the other percent is shark. Its in my nature to always move forward. No exceptions. Frank's eyes got so big and he darted through the air away from me. I grabbed onto his shoe and he was pulling me through the air. Its nice to be able to fly without worrying about flapping. My weight got Frank off course and we went soaring downwards. "Let go, we're gonna crash into the ocean!" Frank wiled. "Maximine Ride fears nothing!" I screamed sinking my teeth into Franks ankle. I moaned as the ocean mist sprayed on my cheeks. _Here we go._


	8. Chapter 8

The feeling of the cool ocean water was wonderful. I had turned into a psycho going in and me going out. It felt pretty good. I looked over and saw Frank, flailing in the water. i swam over and grabbed him. My head popped out of the water and i saw land in the distance. I took the gum out of my mouth and used it to stick Frank to me while i swam. It was the extra sticky brand. When I reached the shore of the island I used my probably only chance to kiss Frank and I gave him mouth to mouth. It was good it would save him, but all I could think about was how I was here all alone kissing Frank. Even if he wasn't aware of it. He opened his eyes and they met mine. The strange thing is... they didn't look away

**Fang POV**

That was the first time I had ever looked at Maxine and saw something other than crazy. I saw beauty. A new kind of subtle beauty that I didn't know this girl could have. This freak of nature who just bit my ankle and made me crash into the ocean had... saved my life. Are eyes were still locked and I got a strange feeling in the pit of my stomach. Maybe it was just gas. I let one silently rip but the felling was still there. Okay, not gas.

**Maxine POV **

Frank is still staring at me.

**Fang POV**

The feeling made me want to... kiss her. Kiss her soft lips on the shore of this island. My mind said no, but my heart said yes. Which one do I need to follow?


	9. Chapter 9

Could this be true? Had I really just kissed Frank on this island? If I knew that being the only two people for miles would make him like me, I would've kidnapped him a long time ago. When our lips broke we just stared at each other again. It was nice. I secretly was having a staring contest with him. I won. Now time to be sexy. There was no meatloaf around, so I used the next best thing. I grabbed a coconut next to me and put the whole thing in my mouth. Frank made the same face he made when I used the meatloaf. I just can't stop being sexy.

"Hey," I said, trying to break the silence.

"Yeah?" Frank asked.

"Would I look good as a blonde?" I ask, picturing me with blonde hair.

"Umm," he trailed off. "You'd look good."

"I was thinking about it." I replied.

Then I heard my stomach growl and I realized two things: I was starving; and I hate coconuts.

"FOOD!" I screamed and ran into the trees, looking for food.


End file.
